HAPPY SUNNY THURSDAY!

TODAYS BRAIN DRAIN:

OVER 48% OF NEW FATHERS ADMIT TO DOING THIS

-FAKE SLEEPING WHEN THE BABY CRIES

GROSS!

So you've probably heard that Octomom, Nadia Suleman, said she has a crush on Jon and Kate's Jon Gosselin. "I think he's hot!" Suleman said. "He looks cute in purple too." Yuck.

7 Dating Lines Decoded (Posted 3:00 AM, 10/22/2009)

Anyone who's ever navigated the dating world knows that the language of love isn't always ... well, direct. That's why single people spend agonizing hours analyzing e-mails and voicemails from dates, trying to figure out what they're really trying to say ... MSN Chemistry writer Laura Gilbert got a bunch of dating experts to decode some common dating lines -- so you can spend less time wondering and more time communicating: 1. Line: "I'd love to stay out, but I have to get up really early tomorrow." What it means: "Sorry, you just don't float my boat." Of course, if it's 2 a.m. or your date follows up with, "But let's get together this weekend," the fact that they want to end the date is no biggie. But if your date is ready to duck out super-early, they may sense there's no connection and not want to drag the date out. 2. Line: "I'm just not ready for a relationship." What it means: "I'm just not ready for a relationship ... with you." It sucks when someone you like tells you they're not looking to seriously date anyone. But it probably means, "I don't love you, so we should break up." When this person does meet someone they connect with, they'll be ready for a relationship! 3. Line: "I'd love to get together, but I'm really busy with work right now." What it means: "I'm trying to think of a nice way to blow you off." Of course, your date could have a full schedule. But if they don't offer any alternate days to hang out, they're really telling you that they'd rather not hang out with you. If they don't make an effort to pencil you in, it's time to write them off! 4. Line: "So, gotten any funny e-mails on Match.com lately?" What it means: "Are you interested in seeing each other exclusively?" It's tough to ask, "Are you seeing anyone else?" But with online dating, you can figure out if someone's been checking for new dates. If your date asks about your online activities, they probably want to ask, "Do you want to see each other exclusively?" 5. Line: "So, want to meet for coffee?" What it means: "Want to meet for a coffee and then have dinner if we like each other?" It's always smart to schedule a short date when you first meet a new person. You don't want to get stuck at dinner for hours if things aren't clicking. 6. Line: "I'm meeting my friends for a drink -- want to come?" What it means: "I really like you and want to know if you get along with my friends." It may sound casual, but your date is saying they're cool being seen with you and want to see how you relate to their friends. It may be intimidating, but it should boost your ego! 7. Line: "Why don't you come over and I'll cook for you?" What it means: "Ready to get physical?" Cooking for someone is a show of intimacy: The person is obviously very comfortable with you. Of course, there's the fact that you'll be just a few steps from the bedroom. If it's early on in your dating, it might be too intimate, but if you're ready to go further, this could be the night!

ON THE TUBE: Thursday(Posted 3:00 AM, 10/22/2009)

Regis & Kelly (synd) -- Tracy Morgan (30 Rock) Ellen DeGeneres (synd) -- David Spade (Rules of Engagement) The View (ABC) -- Lily Tomlin Jay Leno (NBC) -- Hilary Swank (Amelia) David Letterman (CBS) -- President Barack Obama (repeat) Conan O'Brien (NBC) -- Charlize Theron (repeat) Jimmy Kimmel (ABC) -- The cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta Craig Ferguson (CBS) -- Tim Gunn (repeat) Jimmy Fallon (NBC) -- Ryan Reynolds (repeat) American Chopper zooms back to T-L-C for another season. HAVE A GREAT DAY RC